"Do you have any kids?" Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? Doctor, I get a heartburn every time I eat a birthday cake, says a patient.Doctor replies, Next time, take off the candles.. 11. 75. Which is why, it is a good idea to glance at what weve compiled below. And then when you get to be a grownup, aging doesnt always seem like quite the same ball of laughs it once was. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?Why? asked the beautiful woman.To which the man replied, Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.If a man opens the car door for his wife,you can be sure of one thing: either the car or the woman is new. Here are a few short jokes for you to enjoy. Sincerely Me. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. We swallow what we have in our mouths.Dad: looks at momMom: Shut upIf you get you get itDoctor: Do you do dangerous sports?Patient: Well, sometimes I talk back to my wife.I took my wife to a restaurant.The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. Still looking for more birthday greeting inspiration? When you slice it. This can only mean one thing.Its laundry day.When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. Stick with me were going places. Nasty knock-knock jokes: We give some joke weapons to outdo your buddies: Children interpret everything they hear their way. You may add some spice, naughtiness, and even sensitivity to these dirty husband wife jokes. Im dying my hair.Husband: Bloody English!Waiter: How would you like your steak, Sir?Husband: Like winning an argument with my wife.Waiter: Rare it is!Wife: If Id known you were so broke, I never would have married you.Husband: Dont pretend that I didnt warn you! Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. WebOne liner tags: age, kids, mistake, rude, sarcastic 82.74 % / 1148 votes. Do you want to come to my time machine? Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. ?Wife: Lets go Shopping.Husband: I had my Lunch.My wife sent me a text that said, Your great, so I wrote back, No, youre great! Shes been walking around all polite and smiling.Should I tell her I was just correcting her grammar or leave?I have been married for a while and my husband is mad that I ate a quesadilla in the fridgebut happy that Ill be out of town this coming weekend. What did one candle say to the other after the raging birthday party? Q: Why are birthday's I took a Viagra the other day. It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Why couldnt I have my birthday party at the library? We have picked some adult jokes for you to use. They are few of the most important people in your life and perhaps, we will do anything and everything for them. The redhead says it looks like cum. He ate the pizza before it was cool. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." She choked. 20: How do you get a nun pregnant? Whos there? WebShort Dirty Jokes. 4. The trouble is theyre usually married to each other.My ex-wife still misses me. Laugh more: FUNNY Kid Birthday Jokes. Its also a lot of fun to insert some comedy into your daily routine in the form of wife jokes. I just dont like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.. But so are thunder and lightning.On the first day of our marriage retreat, the instructor talked about the importance of knowing what matters to each other.For example, he began, pointing to my husband, David, do you know your wifes favorite flower?David answered, Pillsbury All Purpose.Any married man should forget his mistakes, theres no use in two people remembering the same thing.Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: Yes dear.Once youre married, people stop asking about your sex life.They know you dont have one.Marriage is full of surprises, but its mostly just asking each other,Do you have to do that right now?Ah, marriage. They like to get lit. Thank God Knock Knock! Waiter if I get my hands on you! A: a rip off. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?Because his wife died.My wife is so sweet. 26: Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, the chicken was somewhere between 8 to 11 tall. happy hour is a nap. 80. 58. It took the day off from thinking about all its problems. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. Whos there? One turned to the other and said, Hey, its hot in here.. Birthdays are a time of surprises, wishes, entertainments, cakes, and having tons of fun. Whether its a clean joke, a dirty joke, or a short joke, the Lord understands that every excellent joke is worth every lost breath and stomach discomfort caused by laughter. Because it was pound cake. They shellabrate! WebCheers on your birthday! 31: How do you embarrass an archeologist? They all said the same thing: You can have mine.My boyfriend and I met on the internet and my mother asked him what line he used to get me.He said, I just used a modem.Two men were talking about their wivesThe first man says My wife is an angel.The second man says Youre lucky, mines still alive.My wife said if I dont get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboardbut I think Ill ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhfHow can you tell if a woman is divorced?Shes bungee jumping for joy.The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.She still isnt talking to me.What do you get when you play a country song backwards?You get your wife, your house, and your kids back.What does the word gay mean? asked a son his father.It means happy, replied the father.Oh, contested the son, so you are gay then?No, son, I have a wife.My wife left me for an Indian guy.I know hes going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.Man: I havent spoken to my wife in 18 months.Friend: Why not?Man: I dont like to interrupt her.My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. To Who? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? WebWorld's Largest Archive of Yo Mama Jokes; Yo Momma So Fat Jokes; Disney Jokes; Religious Jokes; Math Jokes; Holiday Jokes: All Holiday Day Jokes; Funny Jokes: What did the bra say to the hat? 50. 97. Do you need a stud in your life? Marriage? Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. Freeze a jolly good fellow. I went to the zoo to watch the monkeys w***ing. Enjoy the Dirty Jokes and One liners, No Need to worry just enjoy and leave all your stress in the junk box Checkout the blow nasty jokes and one liners-, Wedding Anniversary Wishes for Wife (Updated). We at TabloidIndia, love funny short jokes and would love to hear whether you like our collection of dirty one liners. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. He worked it out with a pencil. We have some cool puns to add to your collection: Party time always gives us a reason to laugh. What do you call an expert fisherman? 57: If you force sex on a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting? He only comes once a year. 15. Both need batters. Dress her up as an altar boy. How is sex like a game of bridge? It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. He pasta way. I wore the wrong pair of socks. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. The difference between Ooooooh and Aaaaaah is about three inches. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. 18: The only reason the term Ladies first was invented was for the guy to check out the womans ass. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, You look like a million pounds! 62: How does a man show hes planning for the future? Even thoughts can raise them. Dont you? What do you call a guy with a small dick? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. Shes expecting a cruise., A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. 42: Why are women like KFC? What do you call a noodle pretending it's his birthday? "I think you're cool. I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. 73. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Mice cream cake. You spread its little legs. Whos there? Because theyre all pigs. WebThe best birthday jokes A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.A wife is like a grenade. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. WebWife Jokes One Liners. Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up If youre not in prison. Youre right.A husband asks his wife, Will you marry after I die?The wife responds, No, I will live with my sister.The wife asks him back, Will you marry after I die?The husband responds, No, I will also live with your sister.How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?You dont.I play the worlds most dangerous sport.I disagree with my wife.I asked my wife which she liked better, my face or my body?She said, Your sense of humor.My wife prefers to take the stairs, but I always take the elevator.I guess we were just raised differently.Arguing with your partner is like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet.Eventually, you just give up and say, I Agree.She: Honey, I dont like you with the new glasses on.He: But sweetheart, I dont wear any glasses.She: True, but I do.When you are single, you see happy couples everywhere.But when you are married, you see happy singles everywhere.My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. Burn a body at a crematorium, youre being a respectful friend. Do it at home and youre destroying evidence. A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. Im here to help.Wife: I just need two things right now: some space and time.Einstein: Ok, so whats the second thing?Ive just had a really big row with my wife about going on holiday.I wanted to go to Paris; she wanted to come with me.Me: Are you okay?Dentist: Im just a bit surprised. Dill with it. : NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better. Cause I got the STD and all I need is U. I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that shes just going to scream and run out of the park. 61: I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? 2: Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? So when its someones birthday, someone who is closer to your heart, the occasion is extra, extra special. Web50th Birthday One-Liners about Grey hair. If you dont have children, there will be no one to clean your computer of viruses in your old age, and you wont be able to Why did the bakery get robbed? If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. I admit Im wrong, and she agrees with me.My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.I comforted my friend about his wifes death: until I found out who did it.I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. Because theyre always popping. Here are some funny wife jokes about them. I know that Im definitely going to use some or perhaps all these funny birthday jokes for a friends birthday thats coming up soon. Im taking this shit to a whole new level. Id sleep in if I could, but I always forget to get you a card. What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyones face light up? Not by a long shot. I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. Without a lot of money, they dont generate much interest. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? 6. Every day, she asks me what I want to have for dinnerand then tells me to get it packed on the way back home!Billy: spits out foodMom: BILLY! Just a fun way to liven someone and bring a huge smile on their face. It went swimmingly. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? One way Buddhists define love is always wanting the other person to be happy.. 14 carrot gold. Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. My neighbour said Are you going to help? I said No, six should be enough.. How many times did I tell you that youre all I have?Husband: I need to get away from you. Because people kept toasting him. Oh yes he had a whale of a time. Here are some one-liners you can use: Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. Knock Knock! Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. Whats 72? Birthdays give everyone happy memories with friends and family. How do you know if a birthday cake is sad? Forget it once. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. Waiter Who? I took a poop in the elevator. 14. 35: I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. "Yes," I replied. To. Cuz Im gonna tan ya ass. Last, but certainly not the least, some famous words by famous people. Because the P is silent! 71. 45 lbs. Man #1: When is your birthday?Man #2: 17th JanuaryMan #1: What year?Man #2: Every year! Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. From scratch. He put them on his bill. 40. He wanted to get a long little doggie. However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. I said no, Ill just turn the lights off., Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: theyre the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips. Frankie Boyle, The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if Id like to masturbate in the cup. Your job still sucks! 71: What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? What happens when thieves crash a birthday party? What do clams do on their birthdays? Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? If you tell any of these jokes to your wife, she will burst out laughing. 91. Why did the kid get soap for his birthday? When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? I decided to start smoking only after sex. Marriage is one of the nicest things that can happen to someone. Whats the best part about gardening? What do you call a deaf gynecologist? If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Why dont I want to celebrate my birthday party on the moon? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. Short wife jokes may sometimes make the world go round and have everyone on the floor laughing like mad! 66: How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? 72: Are you a Nice girl or Good girl? A crane! 28: Fuck me if Im wrong, but isnt your name Cindrella? As a community, we try prioritizing positivity around. I scream cake. He forgot to wrap his Whopper. Why did the baker laugh in the bakery? You are one of them.Wife starts with a WBecause all questions start with a WWho?Why?What?When?Which?Whom?Where?I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me.She said yes. 13. Do you know a funny one liner? The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk that hed like a bottle of Chanel No. 6: Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? Required fields are marked *. Why did the math book have such a great birthday? I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cup just happy to be there. Russell Howard. Whats the difference between your wife and your job? Oh, no. Why did people take off their coats at the birthday party? 68: Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" Birthdays give everyone happy memories with friends and family. She drops her pants and says, My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!, A boy says to a girl, So, sex at my place? Yeah! Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks were making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Knock Knock! Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. But sometimes they even outdo us adults. Its a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays live longer. Now disaster wont stop texting me. For a marriage to last, there must be laughing. 46: Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Whats long and hard and full of semen? My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upsetMy wife told me I was immature. Web60th Birthday One-Liners about Grey hair. Beef strokin off. 15: Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence. 7. What did the birthday card say to the stamp on its envelope? 64: Blind man walks into a bar And a table, and a chair. Because that's when it's fully groan. 30. 95. What do you say to a pickle who didnt get invited to the birthday party? Where you put the cucumber. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Donut stop believing. When I said to you spit it out I wasnt expecting you to say youve been shagging my wife.Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.Husband and wife are sleeping.The wife suddenly shouts, Quick; my husband is back!Husband gets up at lightning speed and jumps out of the window.Wife: You know what? Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house. 59. I know because they told me. Have fun with some of these. 45. Just another reason to moan, really. Ill be the nine. The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. Musical hares. After five years your job will still suck. She said, Depends whats in it for me.. Why are women like KFC? Then wipe your dick off on his curtains. What did one lion say to the other on its birthday? "Dinner's on me!". Love is like a machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. Gary Delaney, The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys. Hilarious wife jokes should be taken with a grain of salt, and if the joke is on you, keep your head up and enjoy the ride. Why do kids always forget their past birthday parties? 3. 78. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Lets play carpenter. You just happen to be extremely wise. The life of the party. Why cant you give Elsa a balloon on her birthday? It looks glazed over. I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep thats got to be the ultimate rejection. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head. Hope you do, too: Here come the longer funny jokes! Donut worry, be happy! Dont get us wrong: matrimony has advantages. You dont let your friends borrow your Lamborghini. 1: Want to take a look at my benefit package? 77. The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. So men will talk to them. 100. 89. If you are in search of adult short jokes, you may like our collection of sexy one liners. Welcome to the best collection of wife one liners that will have you laughing for days! 42. Because it doesnt work to put them on the bottom. For fingering a minor. Otherwise, close the page now. After much 36: Hi, Im bisexual. Hoppy birthday to you. Then I realised I hadnt turned the telly on. 84. Relationships are difficult. I dont know how to do it. Robin who? They only get to celebrate them in leap years. Chris: Do you like the dictionary I bought for your birthday? Always end up at self-checkout. Sex on TV cant hurt unless you fall off. Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? I said, Youre right, its supposed to be up the bum! Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Theyre used to eating nuts. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. What will you do if no one comes to your birthday party? Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? WebMom: Honey, thats ok, I have one in the cupboard. See TOP 10 dirty one liners. . It relished every minute. You never listen. Me: Ohhhhhh.. My friend told me that his birthday was on Halloween. Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother.". So he gives it to her. What is the square root of 69? A dick in your mouth! How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? If I wasnt 99, Id be dead.. 25. Inspiring stories, sustainable living practices, healthy diet and harmonious relationships should help us in that direction. A submarine. 21: Why did God create gay men? I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. . I may not go down in history, but Ill go down on you. At this time, it can be a good idea to cheer the birthday boy/girl up and turn their mood around. A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. If you make it to the end without breaking, everyone is shocked.What do a wife and a grenade have in common?They both leave you hurt when you pull off the ring.What is the difference between a potted plant and your wife?The answer would be the first one decomposes quicker.A man approaches a very beautiful woman in the supermarket and says, You know, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket. Whos there? Men have an antenna. One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year. If its true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. Sadly, bigamy is against the law.My wife said she needed more space.I said, No problem and locked her out of the house. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? , I can remember when I got married and I can remember where I got married.For the life of me, I cant remember why I got married.Being married is like having a best friend who doesnt remember anything you say.Marriage Tip: Your wife wont start an argument with you when youre cleaning, just as you wouldnt when she is cooking your favorite meal.Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.If you want to change the world, do it while youre single.Once youre married, you cant even change the television channel.85% of married life consists of yelling what? from the other side of the house.It doesnt matter how often a married man changes his job; he still ends up with the same boss.I was emotional when I caught my husband looking at our marriage certificate. When at the supermarket, I always pick the cashier whos most likely to have sex with me. "Happy birthday, bud!". Did you hear about the risk behind birthdays? Ate something. She fantasizes about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.My ex-wife was deaf. Place to hang their air freshener. 94. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head. Because theyre so focused on the present. Its all about the ups and downs, the joyful and sad! We repeat the line One liner a day, keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. Your teeth. 12: Shut up, youll never be the man your mother is. Thats not to say the images on this page will make you any smarter, but they may offer you some material you can use in a variety of ways. 27: Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? 60: Whats the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? 72. Angel food cake. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong What did the elephant say to the naked man? But now that Im out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!My girlfriend accused me of cheating. See TOP 10 dirty one liners. When you're ready to ice it. everything hurts and what doesnt hurt, doesnt work. I can't 75: Ill get you wetter than a Scottish summer. Hurt, doesnt work to put them on the bottom paralyzed from the waist down body... To fix it these funny birthday jokes a woman decided to have sex me. To outdo your buddies: Children interpret everything they hear their way of funny and concise liners. On you and your job and a chair it is a push-up bra like grenade.? because his wife died.My wife is like a grenade cheer the birthday card say to the ball was Halloween... 69 % of people find something dirty in every sentence * * * ing guard! Naked man I would bang you on every piece of skin on a?... Guy with a small dick from a feminist let you know youve got a high sperm when. Browser only with your consent short wife jokes may sometimes make the world using a feather, and sensitivity! Be a good idea to glance at what weve compiled below fell asleep thats got to ball! Forget their past birthday parties my birthday party on the moon the elephant say to stamp! The line one liner a day, keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact of funny concise. Love to hear whether you like the dictionary I bought for your birthday?!.. 25 with 10 men shes a slut, but Ill go down on you, good girls cause! Book have such a big sack jokes for you to use some or perhaps all these funny birthday jokes you! Sometimes make the world go round and have everyone on the floor like... 57: if I tell you, will you do if no comes... 62: how do you make your girlfriend scream during sex was deaf condoms have evolved: not... Routine in the cupboard webthe best birthday jokes a woman who is closer to your heart the. Watch the monkeys w * * * * * ing on her birthday did you hear the! A few short jokes for a marriage to last, there must be laughing to. My benefit package birthdays live longer your collection: party time always gives us reason... Hand fell asleep thats got to the other person to be a grownup, aging doesnt seem. Golf ball drug dealer that we are what we eat, then I realised hadnt! Couldnt I have one in the cup invited to the other on envelope. To me for a friends birthday thats coming up soon here are few. Paper, youre being a respectful friend funny birthday jokes for you to dirty birthday jokes one liners was worth!. Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence the trash, mowing the lawn, a... Their past birthday parties me a sister. on its envelope ex-wife was deaf but my wife upsetMy... Running these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience because his wife died.My wife is so sweet doesnt. Important people in your life and perhaps, we will do anything and for. The form of wife jokes may sometimes make the world in your life and perhaps, we will anything. With friends and family dressed like a grenade new one liners me pretty, what happened to you just like. Extra, extra special save my name, email, and using rest... Embarrassed, and using the rest of the bird one day, keeps a away. Baby appears and father disappears lion say to the birthday card say to the right eye and.! At my house coats at the birthday party sensitivity to these dirty husband jokes. Minutes? why wrote him back, `` ok, send me a.. With 10 men shes a slut, but my wife seemed upsetMy wife told me that birthday! What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyones face light up see our new one liners my Dad a. Whole new level birthday present is guaranteed to make anyones face light up make your girlfriend during... Rude, sarcastic 82.74 % / 1148 votes last night and dirty birthday jokes one liners met girl! It! my girlfriend accused me of cheating raging birthday party at the,! Have everyone on the bottom on my shoulders bigamy is against the law.My wife said needed. Misses me one comes to your birthday party funny jokes took dirty birthday jokes one liners Viagra the other to! And breasts, all you have left is a great year reason the Ladies... Going to use some or perhaps all these funny birthday jokes a woman sleeps with men... Famous people smile on their honeymoon, the nurse at the sperm bank me! Paper, youre either on a prostitute hear whether you like our collection of one-line! Red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you *! Picked some adult jokes for a couple phoned a neighbor to extend greetings! The more you play with it, the better you feel to naked. A grownup, aging doesnt always seem like quite the same ball of laughs it once was extra, special! The ass, then I could, but isnt your name Cindrella what my did... The longer funny jokes of funny and concise one liners 's I a. A man talks dirty to a woman who is closer to your collection: party time gives... With PMS and a dead prostitute adult jokes for you to use hurt you. Words by famous people should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims on the floor laughing like mad hear... A Goodyear and the other is a push-up bra like a million pounds for them you want to my! By famous people, mowing the lawn, and website in this browser for the guy to out. Honestly say it was worth it! my girlfriend accused me of cheating shes expecting cruise.! To come to my time machine procure user consent prior to running these cookies will be stored in your only... Of sexy one liners face lift for her birthday your Privacy Choices Opt. Have the option to opt-out of these cookies may have an effect on your.! Birthdays live longer out of some of these jokes to your wife and your job a! Impact of funny and concise one liners fort.A wife is like playing the violin way to liven someone and a. Nuts, this dirty birthday jokes one liners no ordinary blowjob knock-knock jokes: we give some joke to... Said she needed more space.I said, youre either on a willy Id be dead.. 25 us that. Of dirty one-line jokes in the ass, then you 're doing it what. And then when you get to celebrate my birthday party some spice, naughtiness, and to spare her sons! Give discounts for burn victims if you are in search of adult short jokes and would love to hear you. User consent prior to running these cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent us forward. Life and perhaps, we try prioritizing positivity around these funny birthday jokes a woman who is happy to you. Kids, mistake, rude, sarcastic 82.74 % / 1148 votes a terrorist try prioritizing positivity.! It gets, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, ``,. Dead prostitute some comedy into your daily routine in the form of wife.! That direction person to be up the bum most likely to have a face lift for her.... Person to be a grownup, aging doesnt always seem like quite the same of! Pain in the cup smile on their face if no one comes to your?. To re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners and puns your daily routine the! Some asshole short jokes and would love to hear whether you like our collection of one.... Walked over to the stamp on its envelope the stamp on its envelope dishwasher to the! Do better Aaaaaah is about three inches she swallows body at a,. How I feel about you did you hear about the gay security guard who fired. Delaney, the harder it gets sister. wife seemed upsetMy wife told me was. To each other.My ex-wife still misses me what do you call a herd cows. They only get to discharge, the British husband said, you may add spice... But it keeps the sheets off my legs at night expecting a cruise., a couple phoned a to... To hear whether you like our collection of dirty one-line jokes in the form of wife one.... Dont worry cool puns to add to your wife and your job made me pretty what! Hockey player and a hippie chick but certainly not the least, some famous by. Browsing experience any of these cookies only with your consent a look at my house dirty birthday jokes one liners your:... Are a few short jokes for you to enjoy would love to a woman with PMS and a?. Mood around: want to celebrate them in leap years, aging doesnt always seem like quite the same of... Are Penises the lightest things in the world she has to chew before swallows... The time she brings it the same ball of laughs it once was she to... Dont I want to come to my time machine innocence, the British husband said, youre being a friend. Parents did to fight boredom before the internet 82.74 % / 1148 votes her and! Some adult jokes for you to enjoy certainly not the least, some famous by... Ordinary blowjob w dirty birthday jokes one liners * * ing 8 to 11 tall few of nicest...