Mickalyn, keep trying. I have over 2000 pictures of him and everything he went to foster care with was paid for by me. Then write down WHY you feel the way you do. They are liars, cheat and criminals theirselves. Think about what your children would want you to be doing with this time in your life when theyre not with you. I know its hard & those holidays are the worst. I finally got a weekday off today was hoping to have this team meeting. Get comfortable with silence. Please help! I have a wonderful boyfriend, and hes going to propose this year- I just want him to surprise me with the details. Depression After the Death of a Loved One Losing a Child Increases Risk of Mental Illness. I had a drug problem but i was never a violent or abusive person or parent. i am accountable for my huge part. 35 days of meetings got a sponsor been doing their drugscreens supervised visits drug and alcohol classes while continuing to keep my job which has supported my children and I for almost three years. Every state has different laws about how old a child must be before they can help decide where they will live. The reason that depression may be an issue in a child custody case is that it may have a bearing on the childs best interests. Now Im facing to be a less than every other weekend dad to my 18 month old son whom Ive been the primary caretaker. They usually don't even have a criminal record and have never been to jail. We need to quite being weak and do what our forefathers would do. You are more likely to lose custody if your diagnosis has caused you to: Neglect your child's basic needs. Don't feel like you need to fill the empty silence. But either way my baby will know shes enough, shes worth it, and shes loved. You are grieving. I am no more discouraged than I was. I had no legal way to sign for him to be treated. Where is the case at? The fact is that people often feel numb as if everything around froze, and time slowed down. I need a miracle. Im scared to death Ill never see my kids again in my home and my mom wont take them in, incase I lose them forever. But guess what! I would be taking this information to my state legislator and to the county board of supervisors or county commissioners. So sorry this is happening to you. Second, try to stay positive and focus on the future. Anger: It's common for people to feel angry and irritable when custody arrangements change. I am 40 years old and my children and 2 and 6. My mom got the whole family to turn on me now my marriage about to fall apart. You have to do the work and show them (DHS) that you are stable and to be trusted by their standards. Because my sons (they took my two youngest, ages 6 and 13) want to be home with me. The loss of custody of a child can be devastating. I am however happy to report I fought the good fight and got her back a year later. The psychological effects of child custody battles surface in a number of other waysfrom acting out to trouble sleeping to child custody depressionand do vary based on the age and maturity of the child. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Out of 2 years he spent 161 days with me and 71 of those were overnights. I sang back-up in a band doing punk and glam songs. i had recently relapsed leading me to seek help ?i didnt want to get bad again so i told my ex and next day he brought me to get help. Wednesday, March 28, 2012 Losing Custody Of Child Poem, My Lost Love, My Lost Child The scientific basis of child custody decisions (2nd ed., pp. I needed to read this more than anyone will ever know THANK YOU! I know that God has not given up on me, no matter what wrong choices I made, and we have all made less than the best choice at one time or another. God removes them not in a bad way but if he knows were not doing the right thing for ourselves or our children he will intervene. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. Is there anything I can do to avoid getting my son taken away? Your email address will not be published. Jen, Im so so sorry to hear of your TPR I hope you will appeal. My doctor knows my story and is very sympathetic to me. I am so disgusted with them that I believe when this is all over I am going to tell my story ALL over the place. My daughters are now with a cousin of mine, and I turned in my son with my mom after borrowing a car to take him to san bernardino county. Maybe because I became a debby downer. I have no advice of how to cope and i dont want to share my ugly story (theyre a dime a dozen) I just want you to know that I AM PROUD OF YOU. It has been a month and a half now. There is also another AMAZING book I HAVE read that is called Everything Happens for a Reason. And to those of you who are Christians, remember that the Bible says that Everything works together for good to those who love the Lord. Remember the story of Joseph? This helps with depression. You can also take the effort to indulge in self-care changes by paying attention to your diet, your sleep, and your physical body. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. The two older girls are in two seperate homes. this pain guilt and empty feeling is stifling what do i do? Mood can have characteristic diurnal fluctuations, often worsening in the early morning. I got great letters of reference from a medical surgeon in our town, a pastor, and a great co worker. Ive been to 3 different ones and finally i got the paper work I need for my Dcfs case. Foster parents dumped my kids, I raised them for years after horrific abuse took place. Just do it and make it wonderful. But still I have no more friends. my email is: byt777-at-cs.com, and my name is Brandi!! Stress: Custody issues are understandably stressful. Sam, sorry to hear they wont let your son testify. With all my heart to you I say I NEVER gave you up! I lost my two babies to cps. God would never take someones children away especially when they are loved and cared for. I know that in time I will be able to reconnect with my kids. The hole in your heart can be filled by the Holy Spirit in fact, thats what it is there for. I hope your still alive and ok!! Even though her cases are due to her real problem, she certainly is depressed over losing her kids. I recommend some self help books for these issues. When I saw that Childrens Division blatantly broke every one of their own laws, regulations, and rules, while criticizing me for every imagined infraction of their perception of perfection, I started climbing the ladder. What God promises is that if we will surrender everything to him, he will work it for good, not best but good. And to top is all off I had ESSURE could implanted in me after my daughter and do there is NO CHANCE THAT I WILL EVER HAVE MORE CHILDREN! But my drinking and driving got me into dcfs court. Yes, sorry to say, that is exactly what they often do. It can affect your ability to be a good and safe parent: If your depression or anxiety is severe enough to impair your judgment, then the court can decide that it's best for the child if you . These poems for grieving parents and other close family members and friends speak to feelings of anger, sadness, grief, despair, and even acceptance. They took her off because she tried to kill herself. They called me and I went to pick my precious grandchild up. And the state is telling me that my daughter will not be reunited with me as long as Im there because its not considered stable housing. My babies miss their mommy!!!! Cps keeps adding layers of trauma to everyone. I also started a Facebook page called INTERTWINE. Actually, I was the one who called the law on him! I am just so tired of everything. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Law Office of Ben Carrasco, PLLC 108 Wild Basin Road South, Suite 250 Austin , TX 78746, Law Office of Ben Carrasco, PLLC 3710 Rawlins St. Suite 1420 Its hard trust me it is. Seniors may experience severe grief-related symptoms stemming from loneliness and a loss of a sense of purpose. She will always be within me to keep going. I have sat in on several team meetings with my son and they know me well. How Long After PDO Threads Can I Get Filler? I think thats mainly for family court cases, when CPS isnt involved. My handicapped client was even discussed. This always helps me. When we had our children with us, they learned from our behavior more than from our words. Kenneta, I got my baby back from CPS after eight months but my ex-husband used the CPS case against me in family court and lied about me in court documents. Because I cant help everyone that way, Ive put what I know on this website and in the forum. Grief Worksheets | Therapist Aid I'm currently going through a bitter custody battle myself and it has been the worst year of my . When losing an adult child, the grief can be compounded by guilt, by the loss of a friend, by the contemplation of our own mortality, and by the reality that the end of life is perceived as progressively less tragic the older a person gets. But now its happening to my grandkids cause parents dont demand real solutions. The adoptive family had my youngest on Prozac at age 7. When all was said and done i left and went home and got drunk to numb myself i spent the first week drunk everyday. Do you have a case appointed lawyer? PLEASE GOD. They took my babies 11 and 3 because my boyfriend was accused of a crime against a child, which I dont believe! Thank you. 1 hour! I pray for you and wish Angeles surround you like they have me???? Whether it is serving food at a charity kitchen, or helping adults learn to read and write in your librarys literacy program theres something you can volunteer to do. Im thankful I found this site. The loss or attenuation of important . Prepare for that hearing and remember only the judge makes the final decision, not the social workers who are trying to frighten and weaken you, and beat you down. As one other parent (I dont remember which) stated, the State bribes the teenagers with Financial Assistance, paying for college, and vouchers for clothes and supplies etc. There is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist, the doctor can suggest medications that will relieve a little emotional stress, improve sleep, and general well-being. Why would my depression affect child custody under Texas law? Lots of feelings and stories which lets me know I am not the only one but is there a case or grpup to fight here in arizona. And eventually the pain will go away though the memories stay. Some people feel that they have lost control of their child, or feel that decisions are unfair or unjust. My son is very angery with me. 75219. Its not over until the fat lady sings! None of us are held accountable for what others do, but we are held accountable for our response to what others do. I have not been before a judge are anything as of yet, they just coerced me into signing a safety plan to allow my kids to be placed with their dad. fatigue. My children deserve to be happy. It was always so painful for me. When that did not work, I found out who they answered to, and contacted them. He twists himself around so that hes back in daddys arms. It was heartbreaking for me. The painting and sawing and all that would be messy, but then in the end, what a beautiful house it is! Put everything you want to say on a piece of paper and then burn it. Im not a dietitian and I think you might not like my food choices (all vegetarian) but I know that avoiding things like sugary sodas and drinking vegetable juice instead is a good step toward better health. The boys , the fpur youngest, have been placed with their dad who was the abuser and up til they gave them to him he only had supervised visits. The courts say Ill Never get my kids back. The more they take from me, the less I have to lose. I had to leave my daughter in NY. Please if there is any one that can guide me I need legal representation urgently!! I will never sign that paper agreeing that the child I carried inside me for 9 months will never again call me mom. We all have problems. Still to this day I have not got my story out but kept all proof of what I know. Wonder if I should ever let them be and live their lives without me. I know how hopeless it seems, but dont let them win. Elaine, Im glad you found the comforter and healer of broken hearts. I dont know what else to do. End of Life Mourning the Death of a Spouse When your spouse dies, your world changes. Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. So, it is common and expected if you begin to face various mental health issues after you lose custody of your child. I have been battling this now for 6 months i have no family in TN besides my father who is too sick to help i have few friends. Did you know that one out of ten Americans will suffer from clinical depression at some time in their lives? Hi. This is a very, very dark time for you and I am so sorry that you have found yourself in a dark place in your life. Take His hand, he can lead you out of that fog and to the well of Water that is Everlasting. I was two days into my treatment. Ive heard of multiple men who killed themselves, thinking that if they did, CPS would go away and leave their wives and children alone. There are so many places that God promises that if we will only trust him, he will not leave our side, as in Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Ive been complying with dcs. First, it is important to talk to someone who can understand what you are going through. This is the perfect opportunity for you to tap into your creativity. When you lose custody of your child there are various stresses and worries that can overwhelm you. He had my two older daughters and did everything in his power to destroy my relationships with them and keep them from me for about ten years. Has anyone had kids removed while getting help for drugs? What Is The Best Skin Care Routine For Large Pores. Seeking out parenting classes that specifically have to do with divorce and custody arrangements can be something for you to try out. Life is lonely and hard but please do not give up. They jerked a child away so fast and so insensitively and they didnt even care. I told Abbie, that if I am in the love of God, and she is in the the love of God, then we are not really apart, even though we are not together. Also, dont do this to say goodbye. Please get ahold of me, Betty Clark 3253001119,iam fighting too. My son is out of prison now and is working and doing well but he made a mistake he will always have to live with this. Usually they come around when they see that nobody else in the world can replace the unconditional love they were getting from their mom. I am in college again so far holding an 4.0 GPA im determined to do something positive in my life. Alisha, congratulations on getting one child back; thats good. depression after losing custody of childhyatt place chicago medical/university district. These methods will not help to survive the death of a child, but will only worsen the situation. I called my caseworkers superviser supervisor. Email me and jen4032w-at-gmail.com I hope to hear back from you and hang in there. Could you and your mother get guardianship papers drawn up and filed before the court date? The only thing I have ever wanted. I would suggest reevaluating on maybe the why your kids might have been taken and focus on what you can do to get them back. I hope this helps you. Some people get to borrow them a lot longer and I know, that doesnt seem fair at all. Someone who knows this family might see it and report it to the family. I pray for you. Did they ever try to terminate your rights? Winter consider the future. My son has showed up to visitation many times with marks and they have an excuse everytime. It always makes a huge difference for your outlook on life. Let me say, I am so proud of you. My kids moved with me. To several children. I had been given the impression that after my return my children would be able to see me on the weekends no supervision just me and them. Get better education, a good job, pursue meaningful hobbies, or whatever it is you need to do to feel better about yourself. Well they still took her & my son. Many parents have used marijuana while experiencing CPS-induced depression, and consequently had their parental rights terminated because of it. And for this county that I live in they had to go and pick on one of the ONLY good mothers my age; seriously, everyone my age is strung out and even selling their kids meds etc for drugs and I dont do anything accept put them first and try to get through college! Remember what Jesus told Pilot when asked if he was a king, Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence. (John 18:36) I miss my new born son very much. My teenagers have been allowed to testify as long as what they say is in accordance with the States goal is. I actually heard the DSS attorney tell the foster workers in regards to another case, be careful what you say to her, just tell her she can get her daughter back but then when she is comfortable we will take the her again. Long story short I have been the only constant in my grandchilds life. Then CPS advocated for full custody to be handed over to him permanently. If they come in and take the kids, just give em up and move on. I wanted to die so bad I put my gun in my mouth, when I did it just didnt feel right. The various stages of grief that you might experience can cause a lot of mental stress on you. I believe in God the father and I have turned my life to Christ. She will never be told that her mom was a heroin addict who chose overdose and death over sobriety and reunification. I am praying for God to give you peace that this world cannot know. I do not know how much good I have done. Me who was told I couldnt have children because I had leukemia so with the chemo and radiation I was told I couldnt have kids but like I said God works in his mysterious ways because he gave me for beautiful babies. I really need help. The loves of my life due to being scared during my DCS case I got pregnant & I gave my little girl up for adoption. To combat grief various forums and books for parents who have lost a child have been created. CPS had called me and asked me to meet them at the DHS building in the town i was living in said that they wanted to do a meeting with me and to bring my children because they hadnt seen them in a while. Itll be 21 months next month and they are pushing adoption. 1. Hi I am currently fighting cps in the state of Texas. You got more education and now, a good job. I hired another lawyer to help me go back to court after filing a frurd an destress on my case. My kids never needed anything even if my mom had to help from time to time which she did often without me asking. I turned every sad feeling I felt into motivation to get my kids back and prove they should not have been taken in the first place. Even now one of those daughters refuses to have anything to do with me. I know what it is like to feel hopeless what it is like to be spiritually dead, to have a clean mind and not know how to react to life. I promise. Our attorney put the record straight! There have been a few cases where the parents got their children back many years later when the adoptive parents gave up. There are many thousands of families that have been through this. God never makes mistakes, and he is never unjust. Nothing is fixed. I LOVE U KIDS!! You will get them back sooner than I will mine because they are in the system and not with a vindictive ex. In 2016. I have episodes like im having tonight and I feel like Im going crazy. Always a hole in my heart. He and my other 3 children were taken from me and my husband almost a year ago. Im so scared now bc theyre saying that I dont have a chance in Hell and next month is the final court date :'( It could have been handled SO much better. If you want to email me it is erikancampbell5-at-gmail.com, Kathryn, I know exactly what youre going through i was once there where youre at. I started a petition. It is terrible to not be able to be with your own children, the children God gave you. CPS offered me no assistance whatsoever-no counseling, no guidelines of what to do to fix things. Staying busy & putting something in their trunk each month helps. There are a few things that you can do to help cope with this situation. At least you know where they are. Now he calls another mom. Cant say much now sorry plz get back to me. We started over and had a happy amazing life. the social worker isnt the one who makes the final decision. My 17 year old daughter who I was actually closest to up til whe.nThey took her now doesnt even want to see me. By. Expect it, and accept it, Its our destiny. And get EVERYTHING IN WRITING. A Law to Put a Dent in CPS Child Trafficking tells the story of how Stephen K., Californias original activist against CPS, worked with a legislator to get better laws introduced to the state social services statutes. Friendship. The psychologist, having studied the problem, can advise you to take a vacation, return to work, do your favorite thing. Will this ever end? The fact is my son need milk an dippers and i violated a saftey plan. Please help!!!! . There are reports from others that the children are not in complete agreement, Those reports are repressed even though our new Case Manager is the one bringing the truth to light. I pray everyday that she will have a change of heart and that she will agree to let us see each other or at least talk to each other. Shock and surprise, in the blink of an eye. I got them on Ebay as well. Hi, my name is alicia my lawyer i paid for 2000 to get my son back from cps and been fighting for 4 years. 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