The dog might end up dead if it is given away . Theres no reason your partner has to love your pets as much as you do, or even spend as much time caring for them. I work from home, so while she went to work and the kids went to school, who got stuck with the whiny poop machine me. So be prepared for big power struggles when it actually comes time to you wanting something to change. He is an animal and should not hold precedence over your boyfriend. Is asking him to find him the dog a new home too much? How do any of you that do this have a good sex life?! Which was going well until now he hurt himself awhile ago and was sleeping in our room to watch him but now hes better and he said he loves having him in our room sleeping beside us so hes going to keep it that way. Its to the point where if he does not get rid of her room, I am going to leave him. I have never allowed her on the bed Id read something about alpha dogs and I was trying to impress my alpha on her.that night I put her on a blanket on the side of me in the bed.I realized that I was afraid to care about anyone or anything againand that I had not taking anything into account about her behavior and needed to research how to care and train her. But if this situation doesnt improve, I cannot be with someone like this. NO they are not like kids its not even remotely the same. What makes it all worse is that our dogs can sense my stress and displeasure in them and eventually develop submissive behaviors. All over a dog. Im out of ideas. They dont know any better. Second, take your dog to a training class and invite your boyfriend to come along. Besides an animal will die couple of years but marriage and your spouse will last forever. I call her the furry wife and thats exactly what she has been. He just puts the bulldog on a pedestal and it causes lots of issues and arguments. My last dog would just walk with her tail dragging behind her, down the hallway, and go lay down in her own bed on the floor. He walks the dog on one of those telescoping leashes which makes us difficult to walk the dogs together (my dog stays to my left at all times), and last weekend at the park a little girl was running and didnt see the leash and almost fell. Your partners is jealous of your relationship with your dog,he knows his comments upset you,can you make him stop? Now onto our 2nd dog. YES! worse the way he thinks or trys to lie that his behavior wasnt that bad, or shes just a dog and will get over it. He is basically the only company I have, he is a super nice, smart, beautiful cat. They dont act out of jealousy or spite or anger, or do anything on purpose to get at you. It is beyond their capacity to feel that way. I have read comments about peoples marriages crumbling because of an animal. Dog people will try to tell you that you shouldnt mind having your life covered in fur, but folks like you and me arent trying to hear that nonsense. Tell your husband that the dog is not housebroken, that it is not your responsibility, and that he or his brother must immediately make alternate arrangements. She got it anyway. Hello, again! I have had a sprained ankle for the past almost 2 weeks from trying to get her to come back in before work. Im frustrated with the urination problem. And YESthe licking noises disgust and annoy me like crazy too. Challenging for sure when polar opposites. Getting 5 hours of sleep because the dogs are up making noise or birds chirping, it gets old real fast. She hardly barks and does not defecate or urinate in the home. In fact, its better to invest some money on a fence and have a fenced backyard where the perfect nature to adopt a dog that can let him walk, roam, run, and play on their own with lack of limitations. I read your OP, and I am so sorry to hear that you were treated that way. Good marriages (and relationships) dont just happen. He eats what he tears up and throws it up so we have that mess to clean up too. I hope it happens but another part of me is still unnerved because he really only doing it because he thinks she is treated bad if he makes her do animal things.. He says Im the sick one being jealous of dog. So, in 1-5 years shes down to one dog and 3-7 years, shell have none. Glad shes old as sad as that is to say because he loves her. Society leads us to believe that if you arent way into dogs then theres something wrong with you. Its so ****** up!! I dealt with it 2 months, I felt like I didnt matter. Later I thought, hed save me and blame me for the dog drowning. They do NOT understand human speech. One of the things I miss most, is being able to sleep in on the weekends with my bf. While the destruction frustrates him he doesnt really do anything about it because my boyfriend doesnt want to punish the dog without him knowing what he did wrong. If he is not begging to be played with, he is begging to be petted or when we eat, he hovers over my girfriends plate waiting for some scraps she gives him. The hair drives me crazy!!!! And no, like me, your not losing your mind. Your husband/boyfriend may want to rehome the dog because of Allergies. Says they are family members and hed a family member alive no matter what as well. When Your Partner Hates Your Dog: Addressing Disputes Over Pets, Contributed by Zawn Villines, GoodTherapy.org Correspondent. Recently moved to Oklahoma and theyve had to become outside dogs. And they poop and pee in the house every day and he espects me to be okay with it! Yes I have discussed this with him but it doesnt really go anywhere because he gets defensive every time I bring up anything about his child. I make a point of saying, babe I dont like him on the bed and he jumps on the defensive side every bloody time! My 400 dollar vacuum became clogged due to the hair. Is there anyway to get the min pin out of our beds? With the bed thing, keep in mind that animals will need to be conditioned if you change their habits! Growing up we had dogs but they were never allowed to run in the house never sit on furniture or even go into bedrooms. I have told him I dont like her sleeping in our room because she pees in her bed sometimes and I want my room to be clean, but he feels guilty that shes alone at night. Cant wear anything dark or I have fur on it. If you really want to control this situation, there are a few things you need to be aware of. They stink so bad. Now with my partner its so different. Im in the exact same predicament. My SO has a dog. Melissa, I really feel your pain. . Love from a non-mongamous creature the same as every other human? Absolutely, it is completely unsanitary. I am so totally depressed. Overtime I thought I started liking and loving the pet and that it was growing on me. I havent quite looked the same. This is why he isnt allowed in the upstairs area of our house, and hes definitely not allowed on our furniture. She wants to please and have my approval, and I researched ways to train, so I think most bad dogs have bad lazy owners. My bf humanizes his goldendoodle and does not set any boundaries for him. And as I said, it is not her fault for being so sheddy and stinky. Being offered food and having her bare her teeth isnt one. I just want him to be safe as my dog wants his food. He gets upset and says his babies do no wrong. It was in kitchen cabinets, on shelves, in every nook and cranny. Your husband is fighting you on getting a dog because of a deeper issue. Then we moved in together. recently broke up but live together. This is obvious. Training was going well but unfortunately, fianc decided to go against every step I took to try to ensure he was a well behaved little gentleman. Reading these stories makes me want to buy all of you drinks for what youre dealing with. As for our brains vs a dogs, oh my goodness. He does not take the dog for a walk, a bath the dog, or even have time to play with the dog. When I went to Sandpoint, ID, all I saw were BIG dogs..here I see tons of Chihuahuas. I felt exactly the same way, and loved my boyfriends dog before we actually moved in together. My boyfriend adopted his dog at over a year old so has never dealt with a puppy, his dog completely disrespects me and wont listen to me at all. It saddens me terribly to think of loosing my dog. Since my dad, also 2 of the 4 I had left passed. The relationship is still really new and at least Im trying. How long do puppy blues last and how to overcome? They may be old dogs but he wants them around so hell likely get more dogs once these die and they would be younger for more years of pain. Its difficult for me to understand why anyone would stay in this type of environment. My best friend has a dog; she claims shes closer to the dog than she is to her husband because the dog follows her everywhere she goes. If I even walk into his apartment, Ive got hair on my clothes. Sometimes there is poop everywhere! But the behavior behind some mentally deranged people around dogs the excuses the dogs enable is unacceptable. I hate how they shed, how they smell-even when clean. Yet its driven him homeless over and over few will rent out their properties to dog owners. Youve already closed your mind before you started. Every single day I cringe coming home to a smelly, hairy home. He is well behaved, obedient i took him to puppy classes i give him love he is not spoiled he listens to me. I have confronted my husband numerous times with my feelings towards his dog. And this is normal? Before we got married my DH slept with his dog. No matter how many times I bring it up. So, lets see what you can do about this. Im pregnant and due in a few weeks and have hit a point where I need him to get rid of the dog. Sounds like a perfect case . i have severe allergies and most importantly, i do not want them constantly running in the house and jumping on furniture. Ive been trying to be a team player, but Im worried Im not cut out for this. Apparently it is, because he always lets them on the furniture. Before we met (4yrs ago) I found it lovely that he had such a strong bond with her. It happened too many times. My cat generally keeps to herself but the problem is that she has the worst meow/howl noise when she wants to go in or out. Your post reminds me of when we first got our dog and I was watching the show Its Me Or The Dog for training tips. And not having enough time is a rubbish excuse. He does night shift most of the time n i live with my mother in law. I take care of him for the most part but he also takes him out when hes going out anyways. If he is, unfortunately you will never win. (ie, frantic jumping/clawing at company that goes on for 10+ minutes. We do sleep in the same bed, but when she came, she began sleeping in the room with us. I feel a relationship should be a balance.. If youre like me you may start to feel resentful and that feeling may hide itself for awhile but always comes back to haunt you. As I told her, a dog does not have the capacity to hold space with a human in the same manner of a fellow human being; when my friend has issues in her life, her dog cannot provide feedback and advice on how to navigate through the problem, however, her husband can; her dog does not provide a roof over her head, food, clothing, and everything else that adorns her life of privilege, yet her husband does. Email: [emailprotected]. Eventually i was allowed in the bed, but the dogs keep jumping on and off from the bed and they shed hair EVERYWHERE. Even after a grooming she still emits a doggy aroma. The reality is MUCH different! If they get some exercise, good food and some attention when others ate here, they will be fine on their own for awhile. Here are why do dogs get separation anxiety. No thanks! I agree with Paul. after a completely unprovoked barking and near biting episode her human said she just loves me and wants to make sure she protects me. Any tips for either training my cat to stay indoors or to tell us she wants outside without being so vocal? As for your other issue, this is something that will require a serious heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. Its also on linoleum so it doesnt leave a smell like it would in carpet. I hurt inside feeling the way I do about this dog, and whenever I try to talk to my boyfriend about how I feel he just says its stupid your jealous of a dog, its just dumb. Well tonight I was getting in the bed and she was in my spot so I told her to move over, he told me that was her spot and he would rather me sleep on the couch so they could have the bed!!! Someone has said here in the comments that the cat is just a scapegoat for someone who is deeply disconnected. Im not gonna dig into that huge portion of the training. We had an agreement that if the cat came inside during the morning hours, (my husband is usually gone from 1a-8a) he can sleep with me but once hes home and I get up, so is the cat to get up. So he wont correct the DAMN thing when its wrong. Its the easy way out. My pet would have came after the 2nd call or knew I would punish them. He agreed. Just have patience. As it turned out we remained together and now I find myself unemployed having to move out and having to find a job as soon as possible as an immigrant in a country that has the worst rates of employment for immigrants in the whole Europe. But after expressing my feelings towards my partner and them being disregarded, I mostly dont want the dog on the bed because my feelings were tossed to the side. Why isnt she by the window sniffing the air like other dogs? I feel like an asshole but surely its not normal to spend every waking minute with his dog especially when she never used to before.. am i overreacting or am i perfectly reasonable? This is keeping me very busy the last days and I feel like one dog has to go if I want to keep my relationship. Ive tried sitting with him just talk calmly about the dog because every time the baby is asleep shes asleep but once she hears that shes awake and next to him. IF there was some sort of threatening behavior, such as your ex yelling at you, being physically intimidating, etc then the behavior of the dog is acceptable. The dog doesnt know a leash nor rules. My wifes stupid dog (125lb German Shepherd) attacked our son and she STILL lets him around our son when I leave the house. Make sure consistent brushing and regular bathing. And promises has been broken as far as who comes first, husband or dog. Seems like not! Then in October she said that she would put in an effort to get him a new homeover five months later she has done nothing to find the dog a new home. I am greatful that many people think like myself and know that animals are not people. I started to resent her when I was outside with her waiting ten minutes for her to finally decide to go when I had so much to do for my 12 hour work day. I dont believe it is actually the dogs fault, although Ive grown out of love with him and more into extreme dislike, one because Ive always been a bit allergic, he makes me itchy, and he smells like foot fungus the two get me frustrated and grossed out. New life. God made man and woman to live together, what God has joined together, nobody can not separate, much less a useless dog. You can limit it a great deal by daily brushing, but if youve had a pet for years and it is used to certain routines it is very difficult to break them of it without causing even more behavioural problems. That was a week ago and Im so pleased and relaxed the dog is finally gone but devastated that now Im doing the pregnancy alone, so can totally sympathise with you Hun, sending hugs xxx. Its their HUMANS that I blame! IT growed at our baby, still he does nothing about it. Also this puppy is a Pitbull and my partner knows Im scared of these types of dogs. I like dogs but I cant deal with this anymore. So true! He has said I have to get rid of my dog. My husband got bored with him long ago and while he does the minimum walking and feeding, he shows him absolutely no affection whatsoever. Going to dog training as a couple (although the dog owner should pay for it, lol) is a priceless experience and will change your life. You deserve a normal relationship just like anybody else but it is obvious that your not going to find it there. >90% of rabies vaccinations are effective, and, a rabid animal would have to have bit your pet. )this dog is awful! and I feel second to that dog. I love bigger dogsand a lab is a great family dog. If its the relationship that is also at issue since this aspect of her personality never was previously know, is there someone that can keep the pet while you change your financial situation? Nutrition matters: Sometimes, the problem is a lack of nutrition. She claims its only her Dad who wants to get rid of their dog, but her Mom confessed she does too. Many people just dont like that. They were well trained. Everything is the dog. I cannot sleep with my bf, or watch tv with him (both dogs get on the couch between us if there is any affection), cannot have a meal without incessant begging, cannot travel or have fun day-trips out of town because he wont leave the dogs. Weak minded as they are chose to side with my ex because they believed his lies about my bruises. Turns out theyre the ones who took your steak eh? The one you presented is simply the most popular. Hed have his arm around her. Im thinking about giving him away just because I want him to get treated better than this.. Is this wrong to give up my loved dog for her? Thats when my hell began. So sorry youre going through this like you said, its not the dogs fault, its the HUMANS fault! I am not an animal person. It didnt work well, and now just as a repeat of everything that has been said, is this is what we want for the dogs and ourselves. They come out there, put their mouth at the table because we have breakfast food on there and wipe drool on the table (throw up city!) Family too but the dog will stay. Hes known for being fun, kind, intelligent, and humane. He loves kids like I love animals. Thats over the line.but he refuses to act on it . The thing is I dont hate animals I just know that they are animals and need to be treated as such. We would take her to local parks and walks all the time. Im sure these traits will remain once your dog is gone which in all actuality doesnt solve anything and may not even salvage your relationship, unless unlike me you have A LOT of patience!!!! Its sooo disturbing! In all reality, we technically cannot be as loyal to our partners as an animal companion can be. My husband knows better than to bring home another dog. Your lucky that she knows how to behave. There are enough responses here that a website for dog widows/widowers seems viable: I dont think there is anything. 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